Where does the time go?

 I've been thinking of you a lot lately.   And today I realized this year has been 15 years since you left.  15 years - The things we have seen and done over those 15 years.  The times I could tell you were there and cheering me on.  I love you and just want to thank you for helping when you know we needed it.

Love you

Another Birthday Passes

Once again its Novermber 19th and I still miss you so much.  You have been with me in proxy however.  Everytime I use one of your tools I think of you.  Everytime I plant something or trim a tree or see a picture of you or Jayden or just about anything, I think of you. 

I love you son,


Dad

Happy Birthday

Hey Buddy,

I sure do miss you. I'm not sure I will make it through the day. Anyway, here's a big hug for you. Wish I could get you something for your birthday. Oh yeah, Jayden is a great kid and I love him a lot. Jackie is doing a great job raising him. I wish he were closer. Cindi and Rob spend a lot of time with him and we love to see him in the summer. You would be so proud of him. He is growing up so fast.

Anyway, I love you and Happy Birthday.

Love

Dad

Hey Jimmy...

I came across an old friend of yours - she of course was devistated with the news as we all still are..... she said she has pictures and videos to share with us from your days on the ranch ~ I am so excited to see them!
I think about you every day & still can't believe you are gone.
I love you little brother <3

Happy Birthday Jimmy

This day we celebrate your entry into earth life. You were the talk of the maternity ward at 12 pounds 3 ounces. All the expectant mothers that were there were so concerned that their babies would be as big as you at birth.

I sure miss you son. But anyway, Happy Birthday.

Love, Dad

Michael's Thoughts

I have not been able to sleep. I have been up crying the last two nights. I tried to figure out what was wrong with me. Hard time? Miss my son? Miss my brother? And I have realized it was all of the above. I recently was looking at the blogs that were about you. And I got so upset. I see the NEVER FORGET and I wish I could take a chisle and scratch it off. Everyone has forgotten. No one gets it. This family has never really been the closest but whatever wedge was there has now become a full on severed arm. I miss you man. You were the only person I ever confided in. And I knew more about you than anyone in this world ever will. I am so sad and mad about everything. That you won't ever meet my little boy. I play with him and wish you could see him crawl and laugh and smile. I wish we could take our boys camping together like we always said we would. I wish we could sit and watch football and laugh together. You were my only link to this family and now you are gone. My best and only friend in the entire world. My little boy will never know you or meet you or have an uncle. I'll never have my brother to talk about how annoying women are or what kind of car we will get our sons when they turn sixteen. Sometimes I wish I had gone because maybe things would be different or better for everyone. Maybe there never would have been a wedge to severe his arm. But I just look at my little Guy and know he would never have been if that was the case. He may have never been if things hadn't happened the way they did. I feel guilty for that sometimes. My son for my brother. It just wasn't fair the way things work. I barely talk to anyone anymore. And when I say I miss my brother I get the f...ing cliche answer. Talk and he will listen. Well that's crap if you ask me. I talk until I'm blue in the face and hear nothing back. Or feel any relief. I try to do everything I can do to make things better yet nothing changes and the things that do seem to change for the worse. Is there ever going to be any relief in this world? Will my son grow up in an unfair unpredictable world? Will it take another life for everyone to realize that it wasn't never to forget you? That would be impossible. It was to NEVER FORGET us. The ones that are left behind. The parents that lost a son, the siblings that lost a brother, the child that lost a father, the children that lost an uncle. That's what it meant. Please Jimmy let me be wrong. Let it be true that you can hear us talk to you. Please, my only brother and my best friend. Please remind us what it truely means to NEVER FORGET. I love you man.

Remembering again

Another early morning and thinking of you. The weather this fall is so much like it was two years ago. The sun has been beautiful in the afternoon and I have been reminded of the fishing trip with Bro. Bruton to Henry's Lake. The next two months will be full of memories of you and I wanted to let you know that I miss you very much. I hope you are very busy where you are now and that you are doing the things that please you.

Love,

Dad